Fertile Roots

How many of us have passions that make our soul smile when we do it.   My father was a plumber but he loved gardening.  He would get his hands dirty… sometimes he will even tell me .. “come and help me”  of course I would, but not with a bag over my hands lol.  Coming to work this morning I recalled that time where I would sit with him on a little brick and watch him do what he enjoyed doing.  He loved to see the crop grow.. he loved to see the flowers bloom but most of all how he would pick those same flowers when he forgot my mother’s birthday lol.

Driving sometimes allow you the time to reflect and to come up with how some things are so similar in life to the things we do everyday .  I couldn’t help but view life the same way as these crops, these flowers that we put our time, love and energy into.  What happens when we don’t give it time?  what happens when we don’t water it?  what happens when we don’t give it the fertilizers they need to grow ?  It withers and die.

Like life and relationships .. same thing.  The only difference is relationships don’t really need the tangible things most times.  Most times it needs the emotional stimulations that allows others to feel wanted, needed, cared for and most of all loved.  That’s how we bloom, that’s how we grow.  Give a man food, shelter, clothing and he would have just that.. food shelter and clothing.. but give him unconditional love, care and respect and this man would grow into something extraordinary.

How much time do we put into the things we say we love.  How much time do we spend just saying “Hello, how was your day?” “are you ok?”.  How much time do we spend taking care of the relationships that mean the world to us ?  Funny how life works, some 30 years later I can reflect on what my father did and understand.  People need to feel loved but it all starts with loving yourself.

A very dear friend of mines messaged me last night… his words to me was ..”Something you said to me last week made me think.. I am not doing that in my real life.. I need to get back to doing it.”  Words sometimes can trigger emotions when we least expect it.  We sometimes allow others to water our own garden, to take care of the things we need to take care of.

There are so many experiments on plants where they would put one in a room filled with negative energies and one with positive energies,  I don’t have to tell you which one remained alive.  The one with all the love and care.  Don’t allow our lack of care to ruin our garden.  Water it, feed it what it needs to survive but most of all love what you do.  Love who are around you and take care of those fragile relationships that bring you the most joy.  Even the withered gardens can be watered and revived.  Trust in your abilities to create.

This entry was posted on May 8, 2018. 2 Comments


No no I don’t mean take all your clothes off :).  Came across a quote today that read “The greatest intimacy is the nakedness of two minds”.   Some relationships make us cover up who we are.  Some make us change who we are.  Other relationships allow us to bask in our own nakedness.  How sexy is that ?  The intimacy of two minds merging the sacredness of who they are without question.. trusting implicitly.

They say nothing is more sexy than  someone who knows what they want.. It does not mean they may get what they want but that knowing within them is enough to show the nakedness of who they are.  Ever had someone tell you “you are mines”  no one else’s.  How does that make you feel?  Makes you feel you belong.. You are loved.  I am not talking about the kind of obsession where it is unhealthy,  but the integrating of desires that causes that deepness that most of us seek.

How many times do we see people step back when they feel they have gotten so close to someone. It frightens them.  They rather put energy into something because they know what the outcome is going to be.   They think it is wasting time and energy on relationships that have no clear outcome.    So instead of allowing the deepness with that person they leave because in their minds it makes no sense.   We all live our lives to be happy and seek that happiness but it is always on the physical front as well.   What we don’t understand sometimes that our emotional state is what needs feeding most of the time.  Not really the physical.. the physical is great .. sure it is but what satisfies the soul?

People in long distance relationships depend on spirituality to connect and feel more than they can touch.  Some of the most deeply found passions are more on the spiritual connection with someone over the physical.  Allowing your nakedness to someone is one of the most intimate things you can do.   It is sacred, it is love.

Being intimate is allowing the other to see you just as you are.  Learning and growing with each other.  Conversing in a way that no one else can.  Allowing your humor to charge you.   Thinking and allowing the other to feel your thoughts.  Calling that person and seeing them answer your call telepathically.   Most of all during the painful times for that person to hold your hand with the knowing that everything is going to be ok.

When you stop putting energy into something it withers.  Just like flowers, plants and everything else you need.  Without the energy flowing it will not survive.   I often think when people complain about their partner that he or she gets angry and jealous, I smile as I see it when people stop reacting is when you need to worry.   When it does not bother them if they hear from you or not.  People speak all the time as in my other post Unpsoken Messages.. they send you the signs and they tell you what they are thinking most of the time.

Cherish the ones that give you that feeling.. that feeling you have for years at a time. That feeling of the craziness.. the high.. the “omg you drive me bonkers”  kind of feeling but I wont trade you for the world.  The knowing that someone connects with you in such a profound way.   Luxuriate your sensuality and allow your nakedness only to those who are worth it.


This entry was posted on April 30, 2018. 2 Comments

Unspoken Messages

I was talking to someone this morning and he said to me when you are in a relationship “A bad day should be a surprise not an expectation”.  We decided to write that down and make it into a quote lol but within it comes the deep realization of what it truly means.

Do you ever wake up wondering if today is going to be a good day with the person you love or if it is going to be a bad one ?  What about people who are in physically abusive relationships , can we even imagine what they are going through when they wake up in the morning?  What are they thinking, how do they feel?   Other peoples issues are not ours to fix but how we are there for others makes the world of difference sometimes.

Do we listen to the unspoken words or messages people give us ? People are always talking even when they don’t say anything at all.  They say silence is the loudest scream  and it truly is.  Do we hear what others are trying to say when they don’t say it?  Life is so easy but sometimes our egos are so inflated that so many things can happen.  People can sabotage anything because they themselves feel they are not deserving of happiness or love.

Even in the messages they send do we dig deeper and try to figure out why is this person so hurt, why do they do what they do.  Why do they have everything beautiful in front of them but try to take that all away?.  So many questions and the answers are sometimes never there.  When someone speak without words .. listen.  When someone does not care to spend time with you .. listen.  When someone does not care to be there for you.. listen  When someone does not care to share how they feel with you.. listen.  When someone does not show they love you .. listen.  We are caught up in waiting for things to change,  we are caught up with hope.  Jim Carrey said “I don’t believe in hope, hope is a beggar, hope walks through the fire, faith leaps over it.”

About 3 months ago I was face to face with a woman who was about to lose her home the very next day.  Her words to me “I am going home and make my last dinner in my house and I am going to kill myself, there is no hope for me anymore’.  I stood there in shock, all I could have said was ‘Have faith”  you are never alone.  Three months after she have her home and got a job and smiling like it didn’t happen.

People don’t mean to hurt us half the time.. they are sometimes doing the best they can without realizing the unspoken messages they send.  We will always feel the consequences of our own actions.  We are never separate from our own karma.  Do not devalue yourself to accept the unspoken messages.  Listen to it, accept it but move on to the clarity of your own voice.  Hold the hands of the ones that never let go.


This entry was posted on April 24, 2018. 7 Comments


“Walk away if it’s bad for you, try harder if it’s good for you and be smart enough to know the difference”.  Someone sent me that quote and it made me think a bit.  Do we know the difference?  when things are disguised as love, when you are torn between what you see over what you feel.  How many of us have been stuck and we allow others to block the traffic to us.  There is another saying “If you would like to stay in my life the door is always open, if you would like to leave the door is always open but don’t stand in the doorway blocking traffic'”.

We do that so many times, allow people to stand in our doorway.. they do not serve your highest good but we still not smart enough to know the difference and let go.  In healing you would know that when you don’t speak your truth and bottle things in you harm your body,  things start manifesting.  We allow ourselves to be sick by not standing in our truth.

We allow people to make us feel less than beautiful, we apologize for who we are when others are not accepting of us.  We walk on egg shells trying to make sure we don’t ruin something that makes you feel good just ten percent of the time.  We don’t realize we aren’t allowing the other 90 percent to walk in.  We concentrate so much on a feeling.. a feeling that someone made us feel months ago, trying to bring it back to the present.  If it is gone it is gone.  If you are worth it .. the other person will be trying just as hard as you to get it back.  If they aren’t walk away.  Leave them to be who they want to be .. Step into your own light and let others see how beautiful you are.

Don’t be afraid, don’t be someone that pushes others away, be the one that never let go the hand of another.  Step by step , one day at a time, everything will bloom again if we have trust in ourselves, if we have belief in the consciousness that we are and most of all if we truly understand that we are here for the journey to ourselves.

Be the best version of yourself,  if someone does not like you for that .. let them walk.  If they cannot handle you at your worst, they don’t deserve you at your best.  Be with someone that go out of their way to make you smile every single day.  Be with someone that plays with your hair before they fall asleep.  Be with someone that says “I am sorry, I hurt you, I want to try harder”.  Be with someone that don’t allow you to question your very soul.  Be with someone that love the essence of who you are and who wants to know everything about you.  Be with someone who takes the time to write you and say “How are you”.  I’m thinking of you.  Be with someone that leaves their mark in your heart and mind.

Follow that which makes your heart sing.  Be fearless in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire 🙂






This entry was posted on April 24, 2018. 4 Comments

Lasting Impressions

“People will always remember how you make them feel” a quote  that have been told to me by quite a few people over time.  So many of them we can remember that sometimes gives us the knowing that we accept less than we deserve most times.  Such a true saying though.. we will always remember how people make us feel.. not so much the words they say .. we sometimes forget that but how they make us feel stays with us forever.  It is the bridge between making it and not making it in every relationship.. whether it be parents, lovers, friendships.  The feeling that comes with unconditional love is priceless.

How often do we hear words that makes you feel warm inside only for it to be short lived by the actions that follow?   How often do people make us question?  How often do people make us doubt.   There is another quote  “When people show you who they are, believe them”.  Do we really have to search for answers sometimes ?  How many times have you heard others talk about relationships and how the other person makes them feel.  Some live in marriages all their life not saying what is killing them inside.  Some live in abuse because they think they have too.

How often do we see one person treating someone cruel only for that person to be taken up by someone who treats them better “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure” so they say.  So many thought provoking questions as to why people do what they do.  Why do they take for granted the things that once makes them feel so good.  In life we have choices .. everyday .. we choose to stay or we choose to leave behind that which makes us feel inadequate.   Chapters of goodbyes they say life is and rightly so.

We choose who makes us feel good,  we also have to realize how we treat others is what we get in return sometimes.  Sometimes people have their own agendas.. they have their own issues we just don’t understand.. they have the wars going on within and they don’t mean to hurt others but in their actions you feel hurt.  Those things are short lived as people who really do care find a way to make everything better.   The ones that continue to make you feel less of yourself or that you are a nobody are the ones we need to let go of.

Love who you are .. become that which makes everyone you come into contact with feel good about who they are and that they make a difference.  Make all feel the warmth whether they spend two minutes or a day.  We all have ups and downs in relationships but the ones that are true even when you have a fight you will never want to escape.  You rather have bad times with that person as you know deep within they are so worth it.

Realize your worth.. when others make you feel worthless it is not that you are .. it is their inability  to be consistent in their actions.  It is their inability to care about what they say that brings sadness to others.  Some just don’t care much about anyone but themselves.   Unfortunately selfishness exist within us.  The ego needs to be stroked. Control needs to happen for most to feel they are great.

Let us not get caught up in the issues of others but only in the things we can control.  Let us remember the little things that builds the foundation of relationships.  Let us try  not slip in how we make others feel.  Even if we do find that place where they can understand you did not mean to hurt them.  When you make someone happy now, you make them happy ten years from now just by the memory of it.  Don’t let the bad times overpower the good.  When we look in the mirror let us be happy about the reflection.



This entry was posted on April 18, 2018. 2 Comments


Is it true that people can only understand what you are trying to say only based on their perception?  There is a saying “To be loved is great but to be understood is profound”.  How often do we come across people that mesh with our souls like no other,  build a foundation based on opening that side of yourself that was hidden from the world,  you think “Ahh this is it”  he/she understands everything I am,  only months after feel as if that person does not really understand you at all.

Sometimes we create our own scenarios by our thoughts, our decisions,  what we allow, what we don’t.  Funny though.. in every situation,  what one person takes for granted someone else is praying for.  In life things are simple if we just read beyond the words, if we feel what someone is trying to convey.  “The desire to share comes with the desire to be understood”.   Sometimes how you bring things across can be considered an attack but most times it is a cry from within someone just saying “I feel”.  If you didn’t matter would anyone be trying to share what hurts them ?

Listening has become so difficult in this ever changing world.  To listen with your soul bypasses that which you hear.  That resounding feeling that you get when someone you love is trying to allow you inside them.  That feeling of knowing that with just a little understanding comes deep connection.  How we view others, what our perceptions are is not sometimes what things really are.   Listen,  you will hear,  Listen, you will feel.

Some cut the very foundation on what something was built on by just disregarding others,  by throwing what they think or feel aside because they think it should not be felt.  Who are we to dictate what someone else feels.  I am not talking about the times where people just make issues out of nothing but even in those situations it is still a cry to be understood.  That person is trying to say “please just listen”  I want to be heard.

I went to a gathering and in that sacred space when I closed my eyes I found something that I thought I had lost recently.. “listening to my own voice”.  Just as we would like to be understood by others, we ourselves have to understand ourselves.   That truth that resides within us that allows us to have that “aha moment”.  Listen to your own voice and don’t lose it by trying to sing someone else’s song.

I asked one of my friends to go with me to that place but in talking with her — her mind changed from going to not going.  I wanted to understand what she was feeling as in her words didn’t give me what was going on in her mind.    I just had to close my eyes and understand the words she didn’t say.  And in that moment … I understood.

Find the wisdom to go beyond words.. find the ability to not take things as attacks but rather someone trying to make you understand that which makes them feel.  You will be surprised how much you can learn and how much peace you can create within.

“Happiness is the journey, not the destination” .





This entry was posted on April 9, 2018. 2 Comments

The Conquest


How can one read the intentions of others when it is so carefully crafted in words that will make your heart melt ? break down the walls that you thought would never come down. These were the words that came to me from someone that almost found herself shattered to pieces based on the falseness of intentions all wrapped with a beautiful bow.


How can you tell though? But you eventually see everything for what it is. You were the conquest, the chase, the challenge not really anything else. Like anyone else the belief in words are short lived when actions change and people forget the promises they made blindly to someone else’s soul. Some love the tit for tat games, some are all about me me me. How do you get over this when someone takes you on the most beautiful ride and then in an instant you feel like strangers?
I can tell you how… not by beating yourself up about why you allowed this person in but by understanding that all the walls you had up and all the things you didn’t want happen happened. Some in such a short space of time. Some love the idea of being in love.. some care for the sexual side of relationships more than they do the emotional connection. Some sabotage things just so they can move on to the next conquest. I smile when I see these things happen.. it gives a whole new light to things.
It brings you to your core but more so it teaches you the strength you are made from. Sometimes relationships go from one to the other and as the years go by you look at someone and say .. “I have never felt this way before” and I have come to realize that line may be true at the time but sometimes someone else can come along to make you understand that you can feel even more intensely.
Souls connect.. sometimes for a short time.. sometimes for a very long time.. they step in when you needed them too and sometimes they fill a void that could not be filled before. To be able to move on we have to understand why we allow these things to happen.. why do we trust? Why do we need to feel the intensity? Why do we want things so badly … it all comes down to us wanting to feel genuinely loved and when someone hurts that we feel everything is destroyed within us and we never open up again.
On our beautiful journey lies the souls that will rock our very core.. the ones that come in the beautiful bow that you think that you would never want to be without but sometimes you must do what is best for you… Honoring self is sometimes the hardest thing to do. Listen to that voice within.. it never steers you wrong. Change the stars someone once said to me but you cant really change the stars can you ? you can only view their alignments differently. It is all up to you,, it is all up to me to make anything that is in front of us work… if a link is weak the chains will eventually break.
Don’t worry to much on the breaks but concentrate more on strengthening the piece you were left with.