When we lose someone, when we break up with someone or someone leave our lives ..why does it sometimes hurt to the point where we think we cannot get over it or the person? Why do we believe that we will take forever to move on. Why? I think I understand why.. we remember how the person made us feel. We remember how much we felt in the heights of passion and intimacy and we chase that feeling. Not necessarily the person most times, but how much they made us feel .. how much they made us feel alive.
When they leave they break so many things.. our trust .. our smile.. our love that we are not able to invite it in again, and if we do, the other person pays for our fears.. We make decisions, we fear feeling this hurt again so we spend all our lives not allowing. We miss the opportunities that knock and we steer clear of anything to do with love. Our armors, our walls go up higher than they were before.
I know it all too well but on that broken road lies so many things that helps us to form who we truly are. Help us to understand who we are and most importantly help us to grow stronger if we can just hold on to the reigns. That feeling is what we want.. that feeling of being loved, that feeling of being understood and more so that feeling of intimacy. Some stay in that feeling even though the other party does not give back because they hold on to the days that they do feel cherished. They overlook everything that person does just to hold on to that feeling that make them feel good for a day of two.
What about the ones that had months of great times, laughs, days filled of love and intimacy only to be told “I don’t love you anymore” and you are left to move on wondering what happened, what you did wrong. You didn’t do anything wrong. People are wrapped up in themselves, in their own lives and they lack compassion for others. Sad but so true.
When we close off the world .. we close of the feeling from ever returning or even being reciprocated in the most beautiful way from the ones that is willing to give us that. We get so hung up on the person that we forget that it exist out there. The universe will bring you that which you believe you deserve. If we believe we deserve one sided love .. then that is what is going to be served. If we believe that someone will come in and you will have all that you ever want not just the feeling .. then that will be served.
Nothing is harder than watching someone you are in love with treat you with no respect, unkindness and lack of care but in doing that they send you a message. The message of what we allow for ourselves. On my journey I thought many times”I don’t know what I want but I am positive about what I don’t want,.” We all are positive about what we don’t want, let us get clear on what we do want and manifest that.
All roads lead somewhere we just have to trust the journey .. Let us not chase a feeling.. that feeling that we truly want starts with self love. I am thankful for the ones that walked in and left .. the heartbreak was enormous but in that abandonment showed me what I allowed for myself. I allowed others to use my kindness, my love, my care when I knew that I didn’t deserve how they treated me. I allowed it for the sake of love, for the sake of intimacy just to feel that feeling. Just to feel loved.
Open your heart to the universe that is filled of unknown miracles. Bring life to those miracles by believing and trusting your own worth. Allow those feelings you do want to step in without the barriers.. without the fears. It is hard.. we are still learning and scared to feel those tears again but it is time to let what we really deserve to come in.. We don’t have all the answers but the feeling of unconditional love is the only feeling that we should accept. Be unconditional in our love for others and watch how it gets reflected back to us. The only thing we should be chasing is new ways to shine 🙂