I was reflecting on something that made my heart weak lately and even though I don’t have the answers to anything, praying and detaching from the outcome always seem to be the advice you get.
I realize that people that walk into our lives are not only teachers but triggers, I would even go as far as saying some are mirrors of ourselves. I am also a trigger for others but when these triggers happen it sends us to a place of hurt and pain. What it really does is help us to bring up the things that needs healing if we can be aware of it.
We sometimes don’t mean to hurt anyone but our words resembles something that someone else said that hurt us so we go back to that chapter of our lives and we relive that pain and that puts us in a place to feel that everyone that walks in is the same thing. Not necessarily so, the thing is I have learnt that if we don’t heal it everyone that walks in after is going to trigger the same thing within us.
We walk away from relationships we don’t stick it out.. when someone says something that hurts us we run .. we go into hiding .. we cannot face the reality of the pain that comes with it. Triggers makes us even say things to people we love because we are tired within ourselves.. it makes us want to do things instead of trying to talk things out and growing from a place of pure understanding.
So what is the pattern? We end one and try to find something in its place and we say oh this person loves us and it is new and exciting but later in the relationship when all is quiet again we go to a place of self awareness that something is not being fulfilled. Then we become incomplete all over again. But how do we heal from those triggers? Well your guess is as good as mines lol. Maybe being aware is the first step? Maybe trying to understand what the trigger did and emotionally realizing how it makes us feel and let it go?
There is a saying “you hurt the ones you love the most” . Isn’t that right most times. They are the ones that triggers most within us. Our job is to feel and understand. Do we want to understand? Most times not. We just want to feel loved and genuinely loved. There are so many things at play when people go to different paths of life. One told me the other day that they don’t feel their thoughts are their own. Even those things we need to be aware of. When are thoughts ours and when thoughts aren’t ours.
So many energies around that influence our thinking and our minds that we cant fight them all. The only thing we can do is to know our truth and what we feel and be honest about that. We may not always get it right but we will get it eventually, one step at a time . I am always one for growth.. I always want someone to tell me what they think and how I made them feel. People don’t remember words but they will always remember how you made them feel.
Sometimes we overshadow the good with the not so good. We have one time of disconnect and everything else seems to pay the price for it. Don’t let this happen. Everyone has good in them .. everyone. We have to become compassionate to that and help others grow. We have to shed the negativity that we live with sometimes. There are times we live in homes where it is a constant battle with our emotions but we just have to stand in your truth always even though you may not physically leave.
I know easier said than done but the triggers we feel inside are helps not hindrances if we use them rightly. Pondering on what to come next is not what we need but allowing ourselves to heal with what we have right now is necessary. Find the common ground and honor those triggers as your road to yourself.
People can make you feel so many things .. not good enough, unworthy, unloved, undesired, unwanted all in one sentence.. Don’t take it personally they say but how can you not .. it will continue to happen throughout our lives until that part of ourselves gets healed. You know what they say – pay attention to the message don’t shoot the messenger.
The key to any successful relationship I always say is to Pay Attention. The first and foremost is the relationship with self. Pay attention to the needs within and that which makes you feel all the ugly emotions that bring you down. Hold the hands that want to help you and allow yourself to heal from within