When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up… To more than I can be……. Josh Groban
These were the words of a song that was played on that faithful day… when I had to part with the flesh.. I had to part with part of me. Four years ago a beautiful soul entered my life and I didnt know the impact she would have. She didnt like me at first … she wanted her son to marry someone from her church and couldnt get passed the fact that I was of a different faith.
She often gave the story to many she came into contact with.. that one day as she sat in a church conference .. she heard a voice tell her..”Leave everything alone .. all will be ok” .. from that minute on her love for me was endless. Divine Intervention ?? maybe it was, but as God would have it … the years that followed, created a bond that not only stood the test of time but blossomed more with the passing of each day.
My mother in law was a mother to me and on that devastating night someone snatched her life … he snatched the promising years to come to share in the joys of our plans together. He snatched the walks down on the boardwalk that we so look forward to .. he snatched so many things away from us that my heart lies numb at the fact that he can kill such a beautiful person in such a horrific way.
When I look back at her life all I see is soo much beauty all around her. She touched the lives of everyone with her smile, her comforting words and her positivity. How can this happen? So many questions.. no answers. I always thought of myself as a strong woman.. a wise soul .. but now I try to find that place of peace that would help me to understand all this. Who knew that my families life would turn into such turmoil in a split second.
Soul contracts, some call it… something we cant even begin to understand. I hear everyone saying she is at peace… this world is not a safe place but my only consellation now is that I know she is safe.. no harm can come to her where she is.. she is where the Angels sing.
One thing he didn’t snatch was the endless love that we still have for each other.. the memories I have always in my heart… the words that she always say to me “I love you”. The times we would sit and laugh, cook together and just the times she will just put her hand on my head and pray for me.
I pay tribute to the light that is Carmen Ramjattan… may the souls you come into contact with on your journey home, lift you up and allow the beauty within to always smile on us. Let the memories of the connections you have built on this earth, stay with you and take with it the love that we carry for you in your heart. Many say you are not gone ..I even say this .. u are just in a different realm but not having you physically here rips my heart open. Walk your path with grace and beauty, carry with you always that light that has shone on so many of us and know that when we all are “home” I will see you again .
May your soul rest in peace.. You raise me up to more than I can be … Love you mom ….