Someone told me today about influences.. the negative kind.  A wise woman, known her for years .. she is always my voice of reason most times.  She said everyone contributes to the mass consciousness of the world by our thoughts and vibrations.  She said if you narrow that down to your own life and the people around you it is the same thing.

If you have a home where the majority of the people are negative, controlling, manipulative, that will have an impact on you and most times not positively.  It will drain you, get you ill, you will have mood swings, not much clarity and so many different things can happen.  Same with people of light.. if you have most of those type of people around you they will boost your energy, they will give you hope, they will help you to be the best version of yourself, you will feel alive.

What do we do when we cannot get rid of those around us ?  We have to build ourselves, we have to become aware of the impact they have on us.  We have to be aware of what are our thoughts and the thoughts that feed on fear.   Most times we make decisions based on either love or fear.  When we fear anything it becomes a reality but when we align ourselves with our vision of how we want our lives to be then we are the creators of our lives.

Becoming aware of our own energies, taking responsibility for our own thoughts as well as finding ways to get rid of  our fears is the only way to bring ourselves to the realization that we do not have to be influenced by darkness.  We do not have to allow others to steal our joy or steal our energies.  I lived through it and most of us go through this. We have it in our jobs, our homes even when we go to social gatherings.  We become sometimes like the people we spend most of our time with.  That is because we are sometimes sucked in by them and their mentalities.  We sometimes don’t even realize this until we lose ourselves.

Finding a common ground is hard to do.. We battle with what is morally right, what we need to do to keep peace and what we need to do for others to keep us at peace.  But in reality what we are doing is setting ourselves up for unhappiness within.  Some actually think that is ok because we sacrifice for the people.. one big mistake though .. we can never love others or allow them to love us if we don’t first love ourselves.  Respect comes in all forms .. when we choose to control others, make them live under a microscope we project our own insecurities on them thus allowing others to pull back not really move forward. We pour our energies on them and stop them from even becoming a better version of themselves.

Become aware of the projections of the people around you.  If you cannot remove yourself from it become light itself so much so that the dark energies cannot hamper you.  Protect your thoughts, protect the sacredness within you and be the best version of yourself.   Some pour themselves into getting busy so it takes their mind off facing reality.  Time isn’t ours.  We learn that the hard way sometimes and as time passes we take that same lesson for granted.

Trials, temptations, disappointments all these are helps instead of hindrances if one uses them rightly.  We are not separate from our own karma.  What we give to others will for sure reach back to us.  Be aware of how you want to live within yourself .. be aware of the things and people that drain you.  But most of all raise yourself so that even if you are around them that you are able to block that energy.  Find yourself spending time with the ones that uplift you,  the ones that help you to see the beauty in yourself and those that you don’t have to question their love.  It is felt within.






I was reflecting on something that made my heart weak lately and even though I don’t have the answers to anything, praying and detaching from the outcome always seem to be the advice you get.

I realize that people that walk into our lives are not only teachers but triggers, I would even go as far as saying some are mirrors of ourselves.  I am also a trigger for others but when these triggers happen it sends us to a place of hurt and pain.  What it really does is help us to bring up the things that needs healing if we can be aware of it.

We sometimes don’t mean to hurt anyone but our words resembles something that someone else said that hurt us so we go back to that chapter of our lives and we relive that pain and that puts us in a place to feel that everyone that walks in is the same thing.  Not necessarily so, the thing is I have learnt that if we don’t heal it everyone that walks in after is going to trigger the same thing within us.

We walk away from relationships we don’t stick it out.. when someone says something that hurts us we run .. we go into hiding .. we cannot face the reality of the pain that comes with it.   Triggers makes us even say things to people we love because we are tired within ourselves.. it makes us want to do things instead of trying to talk things out and growing from a place of pure understanding.

So what is the pattern?  We end one and try to find something in its place and we say oh this person loves us and it is new and exciting but later in the relationship when all is quiet again we go to a place of self awareness that something is not being fulfilled.  Then we become incomplete all over again.  But how do we heal from those triggers?  Well your guess is as good as mines lol.  Maybe being aware is the first step?  Maybe trying to understand what the trigger did and emotionally realizing how it makes us feel and let it go?

There is a saying “you hurt the ones you love the most” .  Isn’t that right most times.  They are the ones that triggers most within us.  Our job is to feel and understand.   Do we want to understand?  Most times not.  We just want to feel loved and genuinely loved.  There are so many things at play when people go to different paths of life.   One told  me the other day that they don’t feel their thoughts are their own.  Even those things we need to be aware of.  When are thoughts ours and when thoughts aren’t ours.

So many energies around that influence our thinking and our minds that we cant fight them all.  The only thing we can do is to know our truth and what we feel and be honest about that.  We may not always get it right but we will get it eventually, one step at a time .  I am always one for growth.. I always want someone to tell me what they think and how I made them feel.  People don’t remember words but they will always remember how you made them feel.

Sometimes we overshadow the good with the not so good.  We have one time of disconnect and everything else seems to pay the price for it.  Don’t let this happen.  Everyone has good in them .. everyone.  We have to become compassionate to that and help others grow.  We have to shed the negativity that we live with sometimes.  There are times we live in homes where it is a constant battle with our emotions but we just have to stand in your truth always even though you may not physically leave.

I know easier said than done but the triggers we feel inside are helps not hindrances if we use them rightly.  Pondering on what to come next is not what we need but allowing ourselves to heal with what we have right now is necessary.  Find the common ground and honor those triggers as your road to yourself.

People can make you feel so many things .. not good enough, unworthy, unloved, undesired, unwanted all in one sentence.. Don’t take it personally they say but how can you not .. it will continue to happen throughout our lives until that part of ourselves gets healed.   You know what they say – pay attention to the message don’t shoot the messenger.

The key to any successful relationship I always say is to Pay Attention.  The first and foremost is the relationship with self.  Pay attention to the needs within and that which makes you feel all the ugly emotions that bring you down.  Hold the hands that want to help you and allow yourself to heal from within


This entry was posted on May 24, 2018. 4 Comments

Fertile Roots

How many of us have passions that make our soul smile when we do it.   My father was a plumber but he loved gardening.  He would get his hands dirty… sometimes he will even tell me .. “come and help me”  of course I would, but not with a bag over my hands lol.  Coming to work this morning I recalled that time where I would sit with him on a little brick and watch him do what he enjoyed doing.  He loved to see the crop grow.. he loved to see the flowers bloom but most of all how he would pick those same flowers when he forgot my mother’s birthday lol.

Driving sometimes allow you the time to reflect and to come up with how some things are so similar in life to the things we do everyday .  I couldn’t help but view life the same way as these crops, these flowers that we put our time, love and energy into.  What happens when we don’t give it time?  what happens when we don’t water it?  what happens when we don’t give it the fertilizers they need to grow ?  It withers and die.

Like life and relationships .. same thing.  The only difference is relationships don’t really need the tangible things most times.  Most times it needs the emotional stimulations that allows others to feel wanted, needed, cared for and most of all loved.  That’s how we bloom, that’s how we grow.  Give a man food, shelter, clothing and he would have just that.. food shelter and clothing.. but give him unconditional love, care and respect and this man would grow into something extraordinary.

How much time do we put into the things we say we love.  How much time do we spend just saying “Hello, how was your day?” “are you ok?”.  How much time do we spend taking care of the relationships that mean the world to us ?  Funny how life works, some 30 years later I can reflect on what my father did and understand.  People need to feel loved but it all starts with loving yourself.

A very dear friend of mines messaged me last night… his words to me was ..”Something you said to me last week made me think.. I am not doing that in my real life.. I need to get back to doing it.”  Words sometimes can trigger emotions when we least expect it.  We sometimes allow others to water our own garden, to take care of the things we need to take care of.

There are so many experiments on plants where they would put one in a room filled with negative energies and one with positive energies,  I don’t have to tell you which one remained alive.  The one with all the love and care.  Don’t allow our lack of care to ruin our garden.  Water it, feed it what it needs to survive but most of all love what you do.  Love who are around you and take care of those fragile relationships that bring you the most joy.  Even the withered gardens can be watered and revived.  Trust in your abilities to create.

This entry was posted on May 8, 2018. 2 Comments


No no I don’t mean take all your clothes off :).  Came across a quote today that read “The greatest intimacy is the nakedness of two minds”.   Some relationships make us cover up who we are.  Some make us change who we are.  Other relationships allow us to bask in our own nakedness.  How sexy is that ?  The intimacy of two minds merging the sacredness of who they are without question.. trusting implicitly.

They say nothing is more sexy than  someone who knows what they want.. It does not mean they may get what they want but that knowing within them is enough to show the nakedness of who they are.  Ever had someone tell you “you are mines”  no one else’s.  How does that make you feel?  Makes you feel you belong.. You are loved.  I am not talking about the kind of obsession where it is unhealthy,  but the integrating of desires that causes that deepness that most of us seek.

How many times do we see people step back when they feel they have gotten so close to someone. It frightens them.  They rather put energy into something because they know what the outcome is going to be.   They think it is wasting time and energy on relationships that have no clear outcome.    So instead of allowing the deepness with that person they leave because in their minds it makes no sense.   We all live our lives to be happy and seek that happiness but it is always on the physical front as well.   What we don’t understand sometimes that our emotional state is what needs feeding most of the time.  Not really the physical.. the physical is great .. sure it is but what satisfies the soul?

People in long distance relationships depend on spirituality to connect and feel more than they can touch.  Some of the most deeply found passions are more on the spiritual connection with someone over the physical.  Allowing your nakedness to someone is one of the most intimate things you can do.   It is sacred, it is love.

Being intimate is allowing the other to see you just as you are.  Learning and growing with each other.  Conversing in a way that no one else can.  Allowing your humor to charge you.   Thinking and allowing the other to feel your thoughts.  Calling that person and seeing them answer your call telepathically.   Most of all during the painful times for that person to hold your hand with the knowing that everything is going to be ok.

When you stop putting energy into something it withers.  Just like flowers, plants and everything else you need.  Without the energy flowing it will not survive.   I often think when people complain about their partner that he or she gets angry and jealous, I smile as I see it when people stop reacting is when you need to worry.   When it does not bother them if they hear from you or not.  People speak all the time as in my other post Unpsoken Messages.. they send you the signs and they tell you what they are thinking most of the time.

Cherish the ones that give you that feeling.. that feeling you have for years at a time. That feeling of the craziness.. the high.. the “omg you drive me bonkers”  kind of feeling but I wont trade you for the world.  The knowing that someone connects with you in such a profound way.   Luxuriate your sensuality and allow your nakedness only to those who are worth it.


This entry was posted on April 30, 2018. 2 Comments

Unspoken Messages

I was talking to someone this morning and he said to me when you are in a relationship “A bad day should be a surprise not an expectation”.  We decided to write that down and make it into a quote lol but within it comes the deep realization of what it truly means.

Do you ever wake up wondering if today is going to be a good day with the person you love or if it is going to be a bad one ?  What about people who are in physically abusive relationships , can we even imagine what they are going through when they wake up in the morning?  What are they thinking, how do they feel?   Other peoples issues are not ours to fix but how we are there for others makes the world of difference sometimes.

Do we listen to the unspoken words or messages people give us ? People are always talking even when they don’t say anything at all.  They say silence is the loudest scream  and it truly is.  Do we hear what others are trying to say when they don’t say it?  Life is so easy but sometimes our egos are so inflated that so many things can happen.  People can sabotage anything because they themselves feel they are not deserving of happiness or love.

Even in the messages they send do we dig deeper and try to figure out why is this person so hurt, why do they do what they do.  Why do they have everything beautiful in front of them but try to take that all away?.  So many questions and the answers are sometimes never there.  When someone speak without words .. listen.  When someone does not care to spend time with you .. listen.  When someone does not care to be there for you.. listen  When someone does not care to share how they feel with you.. listen.  When someone does not show they love you .. listen.  We are caught up in waiting for things to change,  we are caught up with hope.  Jim Carrey said “I don’t believe in hope, hope is a beggar, hope walks through the fire, faith leaps over it.”

About 3 months ago I was face to face with a woman who was about to lose her home the very next day.  Her words to me “I am going home and make my last dinner in my house and I am going to kill myself, there is no hope for me anymore’.  I stood there in shock, all I could have said was ‘Have faith”  you are never alone.  Three months after she have her home and got a job and smiling like it didn’t happen.

People don’t mean to hurt us half the time.. they are sometimes doing the best they can without realizing the unspoken messages they send.  We will always feel the consequences of our own actions.  We are never separate from our own karma.  Do not devalue yourself to accept the unspoken messages.  Listen to it, accept it but move on to the clarity of your own voice.  Hold the hands of the ones that never let go.


This entry was posted on April 24, 2018. 7 Comments


“Walk away if it’s bad for you, try harder if it’s good for you and be smart enough to know the difference”.  Someone sent me that quote and it made me think a bit.  Do we know the difference?  when things are disguised as love, when you are torn between what you see over what you feel.  How many of us have been stuck and we allow others to block the traffic to us.  There is another saying “If you would like to stay in my life the door is always open, if you would like to leave the door is always open but don’t stand in the doorway blocking traffic'”.

We do that so many times, allow people to stand in our doorway.. they do not serve your highest good but we still not smart enough to know the difference and let go.  In healing you would know that when you don’t speak your truth and bottle things in you harm your body,  things start manifesting.  We allow ourselves to be sick by not standing in our truth.

We allow people to make us feel less than beautiful, we apologize for who we are when others are not accepting of us.  We walk on egg shells trying to make sure we don’t ruin something that makes you feel good just ten percent of the time.  We don’t realize we aren’t allowing the other 90 percent to walk in.  We concentrate so much on a feeling.. a feeling that someone made us feel months ago, trying to bring it back to the present.  If it is gone it is gone.  If you are worth it .. the other person will be trying just as hard as you to get it back.  If they aren’t walk away.  Leave them to be who they want to be .. Step into your own light and let others see how beautiful you are.

Don’t be afraid, don’t be someone that pushes others away, be the one that never let go the hand of another.  Step by step , one day at a time, everything will bloom again if we have trust in ourselves, if we have belief in the consciousness that we are and most of all if we truly understand that we are here for the journey to ourselves.

Be the best version of yourself,  if someone does not like you for that .. let them walk.  If they cannot handle you at your worst, they don’t deserve you at your best.  Be with someone that go out of their way to make you smile every single day.  Be with someone that plays with your hair before they fall asleep.  Be with someone that says “I am sorry, I hurt you, I want to try harder”.  Be with someone that don’t allow you to question your very soul.  Be with someone that love the essence of who you are and who wants to know everything about you.  Be with someone who takes the time to write you and say “How are you”.  I’m thinking of you.  Be with someone that leaves their mark in your heart and mind.

Follow that which makes your heart sing.  Be fearless in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire 🙂






This entry was posted on April 24, 2018. 4 Comments

Lasting Impressions

“People will always remember how you make them feel” a quote  that have been told to me by quite a few people over time.  So many of them we can remember that sometimes gives us the knowing that we accept less than we deserve most times.  Such a true saying though.. we will always remember how people make us feel.. not so much the words they say .. we sometimes forget that but how they make us feel stays with us forever.  It is the bridge between making it and not making it in every relationship.. whether it be parents, lovers, friendships.  The feeling that comes with unconditional love is priceless.

How often do we hear words that makes you feel warm inside only for it to be short lived by the actions that follow?   How often do people make us question?  How often do people make us doubt.   There is another quote  “When people show you who they are, believe them”.  Do we really have to search for answers sometimes ?  How many times have you heard others talk about relationships and how the other person makes them feel.  Some live in marriages all their life not saying what is killing them inside.  Some live in abuse because they think they have too.

How often do we see one person treating someone cruel only for that person to be taken up by someone who treats them better “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure” so they say.  So many thought provoking questions as to why people do what they do.  Why do they take for granted the things that once makes them feel so good.  In life we have choices .. everyday .. we choose to stay or we choose to leave behind that which makes us feel inadequate.   Chapters of goodbyes they say life is and rightly so.

We choose who makes us feel good,  we also have to realize how we treat others is what we get in return sometimes.  Sometimes people have their own agendas.. they have their own issues we just don’t understand.. they have the wars going on within and they don’t mean to hurt others but in their actions you feel hurt.  Those things are short lived as people who really do care find a way to make everything better.   The ones that continue to make you feel less of yourself or that you are a nobody are the ones we need to let go of.

Love who you are .. become that which makes everyone you come into contact with feel good about who they are and that they make a difference.  Make all feel the warmth whether they spend two minutes or a day.  We all have ups and downs in relationships but the ones that are true even when you have a fight you will never want to escape.  You rather have bad times with that person as you know deep within they are so worth it.

Realize your worth.. when others make you feel worthless it is not that you are .. it is their inability  to be consistent in their actions.  It is their inability to care about what they say that brings sadness to others.  Some just don’t care much about anyone but themselves.   Unfortunately selfishness exist within us.  The ego needs to be stroked. Control needs to happen for most to feel they are great.

Let us not get caught up in the issues of others but only in the things we can control.  Let us remember the little things that builds the foundation of relationships.  Let us try  not slip in how we make others feel.  Even if we do find that place where they can understand you did not mean to hurt them.  When you make someone happy now, you make them happy ten years from now just by the memory of it.  Don’t let the bad times overpower the good.  When we look in the mirror let us be happy about the reflection.



This entry was posted on April 18, 2018. 2 Comments