Rest in Peace my Beloved Sis

Rest in peace my beloved Sis.   Today I was reminded about something from my brother… He told me a story of when I was five years old… I was in a car accident with my family, all I knew I woke up in the hospital after sometime. I was not seeing my family and I started to cry… and asking the nurse to see my sister. I didn’t ask for anyone else but my sister. The nurse had to take me to where she was and it was the only thing that got me to stop crying. Thirty seven years later all I want to do again is see my sis as she lies in the ICU unit at the hospital ,,,only this time … its upon seeing her that makes me cry.

So many lessons from the experiences of others that sometimes we only see when they are gone. My sister chose to stay home and not get an education just to help my mom with us… my other siblings and myself. Throughout her life she had it very hard… she married an alcoholic and her life was in turmoil sometimes but also had some really great times . She managed to have a beautiful daughter who she loved unconditionally and would pamper her to the max.   Her grandchildren she lived for and till her stroke she did everything possible for them.

I watched my sister and mom live in the same house but at times at each others throats, but I remembered something today.   There was a time my Mom was having open heart surgery and she was not responding to anything or anyone for two days. I remember leaving the hospital and I called home and my sis was waiting by the phone… I told her mom was not responding and I can her her screams right as I said that. Her tears were falling profusely. It mattered not what wrong my mom did or what arguments they had. And today… I saw my mom walk in the ICU unit with tears in her eyes and hands on her head… she would call her name so many times as if she just wanted her to answer… nothing else mattered.

My beautiful sis passed on 11th October, around 5 and I watched them pump her heart to revive her. Inside me I know she was not coming back … what for?? She felt that beautiful unconditional love she came from.

If only that unconditional love we have within can just shine through all the time instead of periodically what a wonderful world this would be. If that unconditional love can extend to mankind and not just the ones in our circle how much more we would feel at peace. In times of despair and fear of losing a loved one that unconditional love comes from within just like that – no questions asked – no permission needed – nothing else matters… its just there and we forget all the wrong others have done to us and we sometimes hope the person forgives us as well.

Forgiveness is the only answer…. Not when they are leaving us but everytime something is done to us. We don’t need to hold on to the grudges as we know it only hurts us. I do hope that in time we can all see past this life and understand that when we awake to our reality all these emotions do not exist.

On my journey home I know that I was blessed to have her here with me and more so that we will meet again soon .. Love you sis

This entry was posted on October 24, 2014. 6 Comments

Dream On

Sometimes the more you read … the more questions you have.. ever had that feeling?  You find yourself asking “what if” and “how can this be so” or the famous “This cannot be right.. I was not taught this”.  Well its true isn’t it?  We believe what we were taught most of the time.. not what we hold inside as truth.  Many of the times we ignore that feeling and just go by what we were brought up believing and more so what the “community” would like to see of us.

I have been reading a lot lately and questions do arise… One of the things I read was “this is all a dream”  then we awake our true reality.  Is it all a dream?  are we dreaming ourselves into what we call our reality.  Is it like sleeping in your bed and you find yourself in a dream state and you travel to different places but you are still safe in your bed ?  Food for thought isn’t it?  Whatever it is we have to let go and just be.  Practising forgiveness in its true sense helps us to reach to that state of enlightenment where we can know who we truly are.  Following ego is not the answer.

We are attached to this life as one told me recently so we do have to take our tablets, eat, sleep etc.  Whether a dream or not we are here as we have put ourselves here by projection of thoughts.  What we project is what we see in the world. When we forgive someone else are we forgiving ourselves?  as we are all One ?  Being in a state of questioning helps us sometimes and sometimes not.   Living in disharmony does not bring wisdom.. only living in peace does.  Following that which God created for us.

We are in this life pondering who is right .. who is wrong.. what way is the right way.. saying which way is wrong.. but does it make any sense?  People follow that which holds dear to them in the end… either that which they were brought up believing or following that voice within.  Whichever is your path… walk it with passion and forgiveness.

Lets dream our reality back to that which we are … Unconditional loving souls.. not separated from God.  Stop the guilt we hold on to within… the guilt that sends us to think that we are forever going to be punished by a loving God.  When I think of him I can think of nothing by unconditional love .. I feel it in my being.  Feel that and dream your way back to him :)

As the saying goes …. “Dream On”

If I can turn back time

Its been a while for me since I wrote but I am sure everything is in its own timing.   I have heard this line quite a few times lately :If only I can turn back time”.  It sure comes to mind with some of the experiences or “mistakes” we have made in our lives. We would like to just go back and change it all.   We want to go back and do the “right” thing.  We would like to somehow erase that which makes us feel ashamed,  erase the guilt somehow … find a way to take away some of the pain you may have caused others, or even some of the pain others have caused you, if you had just made the “right” choice.  If you had just noticed the sign maybe you would not have found yourself in an abusive relationship or if you had just listen to your intuition, maybe just maybe, you could have avoided all the things that you are going through now. 

How many times do we beat up on ourselves just sitting and reliving that which we feel bad about,… that which we feel guilty about… that which we no longer have any control over.  We sometimes go so far in reliving this that we constantly feel all the emotions over and over again even though it happened so long ago.  We hold on to that which we have no control over and we constantly live in regret. 

Turning back time is not an option but letting go is.  When we can adapt to the saying “there is good in all that IS”  then we can understand that everything that transpires are just building blocks to our overall growth.  If we don’t see the lessons that every situation is here to teach us then we cannot move forward and we will constantly be stuck in the time zone we place ourselves in.  We will continue to live in the past and we lose sight of the present. 

The present moment is all we ever have.  Not the future or the past.  I heard a saying from Jim Carrey recently… he said ..  “You cannot contain the container”.. and so rightly said… You are the container… You are the one that holds the power to change.. to grow.  The universe is contained within you … Dream your reality and bring it forth..

Let go of that which brings you regret or guilt — it does not exist..  Let go of that which brings you pain… it does not exist.  Live that power you have within to transform into anything you set your mind to.. We all have things we live with but the secret is to understand that those things are no longer here… We feel the pain of it from time to time but when we change our perspective we can smile instead.  Feel that your life is magnificent and we can and would eventually reach that state of pure bliss.. Seeing the universe in that light.  We are not what we see in the world … we are much more than that. 

Don’t turn back time my friends … instead use the present moment to choose happiness.. use the present moment to be the soul you came here to be — magnificent and powerful :)

 

 

Soul Connections

Soul connections… how do we understand it all ?  Is it past lives that have us feeling so close to people we meet?  Or is it the vibrations and energies that people send out that draw us to them ?  Im sure each one of us from time to time meet people and we cannot understand why we feel so strongly for them .. we get confused sometimes thinking its infatuation or maybe love.. we sit and question why we feel this way. 

With soul connections there are no answers but mostly feelings.  We draw people to us by what we search for .. We draw others to our energy because they are of like mind and we sometimes need to learn the lessons that have the greatest impact on us.

Some of us deny ourselves.. we think mostly about others and their judgements on us and we never follow through with what we feel within.  We sometimes come across people connected to their lives but is in daily search of that which fulfills them.  What is the soul searching for really?  Is it love? Passion?  Understaning ?  The soul knows what it wants and needs always.   But we carry our world within.. We need not search .. everything is there. 

Guilt .. the emotion that rips us apart sometimes.  I see many people stay in marriages they are not happy with.. abusive relationships and many other reasons that have their energy depleting daily as fear stops them from being true to themselves.   We do have to respect ourselves as much as we do others.  We run from others because we fear losing.. we even fear loving.. we fear judgments but most of all that fear puts us in a cage. 

Ever heard the saying “the grass is never greener on the other side?” im sure you have.. is it really a matter of the grass being greener?  When we really sit and think about what we portray .. what we put out there that attracts things and people to us we would realize that its not really about the grass but in essense how much thought and focus goes into what we hide within that we search for.  Then when we search and find .. fear steps in ..fear about rejection.. fear that things wont last .. fear of being hurt all over again… we then send those vibrations out and attract the things we fear most.. When things don’t work out then we go back to the saying making it true .. but we never take into consideration that which we focus on that creates our lives. 

These connections come at critical points in our lives and once we can let go and see the lessons it is here to teach us the better we can understand and grow from it.. There are times that the pain within is excruciating as we try to tear ourselves away and hurt because of it.  Be true to who you are… its not really about anyone or anything else.. Stand up .. say YOUR truth and trust that these people are here to fulfill a purpose in your life as you are in theirs.

In God’s Timing

About 3 weeks ago my sister suffered a very bad stroke.. she is not able to talk or walk, and the patience that I needed to have to trust and believe, was at its end.  So many things was happening all at once, after all it was a traumatic year, having lost my mother in law to murder in February.  I questioned so many things as to why all this is taking place .. when is it going to end?.  I was still healing from the physical manifestation of my traumatic experience and now this is happening

To top things off .. the day my sister was being discharged from the hospital I was in the ward and I needed to get a bag from my car.  Walking towards my car I noticed two women and the security guard standing by my vehicle.. what happened was unbelieveable.. The woman reversed on my car … I stood there in amazement as I was awaiting the ambulance to come and I had not eaten or anything for the day .. My patience just ran out… all I wanted to do was cry.  When I looked closely though at the woman who hit my car she was shaking .. her mother was apologetic but she as well was just shaking.  Her mother said to me..”please forgive her .. we just got some bad news about her dad and we are here to see him”.  I saw tears in her eyes .. even though she was a bit irate at first .. her tears spoke a totally different language. 

I put my hand on her shoulders and said … “we will have this fixed but for now go see your father.. my sister is also at the hospital .. their health is what is important right now”.  She called me the next morning and accepted liability and started to talk to me about all that can be done for her dad, as it turns out her father and my sister both suffered a stroke. She did not have any idea about all the things she could have done to help him as the doctors was not giving any information.  I went to see her dad that Sunday and saw her at his bedside still with tears in her eyes.. I realized why she hit my car.. She was the caregiver for both her mom and dad.  She needed comfort … help.. compassion.. understanding .. the following days we kept in contact and we became friends.  Unfortunately her dad passed on but her voice was a lot stronger. 

Another situation happened with my sister in the past couple days, she pulled out the NG tube from her nose that fed her.  This was late one night and I did not leave the hospital till 3.30 am the following morning.  I just wanted the tube back in and I was being told that because she has complications the tube could not easily go back in.  The doctors tried and tried that morning and upon going to see her at lunch time – it was still unsuccessful.. I came home sat on my bed and cried – called out to the Supreme and I called in all my Angels and I asked to take this away.  I was on facebook talking to one of my friends about what happened and he said to me … “Trust in GODS timing”  this made all the difference to me. 

I let it go .. when visiting at 4.00 that day ..upon walking up the stairs I saw feathers on the staircase.. I knew in my heart something good was happening.. upon seeing my sister – the tube was back in and I could have taken her home.  

We often lose patience.. we often question why things happen.. especially the bad things.. we often lose faith in everyone and everything when we are at our end… but in that very moment when you feel you are going to give up … something magical happens… someone .. something … a song with a message … feathers on the staircase… all these signs… then magically your strength returns .. u begin to believe again.  This my friends is the power of Trusting … not only in your ability to ride through the storm but in your faith to believe in his timing.  We are never alone … Trust in the Magic

This entry was posted on August 14, 2013. 4 Comments

Togetherness

Why are we here ?? Why did we choose to be here ?  So many theories .. so many paths.. but some fight on which one is correct.   Something that has plagued this life for centuries.  And till now the fanatics try to find a way to pollute our being by their perception of life.

The world is a product of our thoughts and actions.. as Michael Jackson rightly put it across in music.. Man in the Mirror.. it starts with us.  So many things we enjoy in this life .. Music for one .. written by beautiful souls and sung in a way that plays with your soul.. We enjoy this .. we don’t think about who wrote it .. what religion they follow but we see the beauty in all and allow it as part of our world.

Why cant we do the same for all other things ?  This blessed month of Ramadan is upon us and when this month arrives I cannot help but think more of my dad.  He followed Hinduism and me Islam.  However in his humbleness he will sit with us .. he didn’t have a topie (headwear) so he will put a kerchief on his head as a sign of respect .. to share with us.  To feel the beauty we all felt in this month. 

If I were to ask my dad now .. why couldn’t you have been a muslim like us .. I know what his answer would be.. His answer would be … If I was muslim you would not have learnt the lesson of togetherness regardless of religion.  I know this would be the answer because I asked this a long time ago.. but today I have the answer.

This life is plagued with so many diseases .. so many reasons why we should not do something but we don’t see the one reason why we should.  Unconditional love for all beings.  Stepping out of the comfort zone we all find ourselves in is a tough task .. it takes strength to fight against the learnt gurus of the world who breaks you down with knowledge .  But what is within can never lie.. what you feel inside is what your path is .. we can sit and listen to all the music we want but what resonates with you will always have an emotional effect on your soul.. You will FEEL it .

In this blessed month of Ramadan .. I extend my heart .. a humble extention of all that I am to the all that you are … We are ONE.  To my father who have succeeded in the lesson he taught me in this union of souls I sincerely mean it when I say that … You are my Angel .. Your humbleness have shown me the way to live with my beautiful friends and family and for this I am grateful.

I ask that each one of you reading this to find the peacefulness of this message and hope as the man in the mirror,  we start with the same humbleness to all the beings we are in connection with . 

This entry was posted on July 21, 2013. 2 Comments

Transcending Fear

Ever heard the saying – “all you need to fear is fear itself?”  I looked at a movie recently and one of the most prominent lines were “Danger is real, but Fear is a choice”.    We even fear things that have not happened yet or may never happen.  We focus our thoughts more on our fears than anything else.  We constantly hold all these fears in the different organs of our body and as we go through life we keep those fears most prominent, living everday with that being the focus. 

Ever had someone tell you that you are looking really stressed and drained… for me that’s another word for looking “old”.   When we bring our fears to the forefront of our lives and we are constantly worrying, we help the wrinkles to form, we help the youthful look to leave our bodies.. we stop giving our temple called the body the nutrients it needs to bring us to the light that we truly are.

We all have fears – it can be from being afraid of an animal or even goes way deeper of not being accepted by society, friends etc.  As we live with these fears day to day it brings about and attracts that which we fear.  When we let go of all these fears then it transforms our body and our mind to that which we ARE,  to what we our true blueprint is.

My teacher told me in my last class a technique to help in releasing fears and I wanted to share it with all of you J.  Its quick and very simple.

Picture yourself standing in front of you

Take the fear from inside of yourself and put it in the clone of yourself

When you have done this – walk yourself outside in the sunlight and watch your clone disappear

 

Please remember to always ground yourself and do your breathing before and after any healing.

 Do this for each one of your fears – it will take some time but as you release and let go,  it will definitely leave you feeling lighter as the days go by. 

 We have been for too long walking around carrying the baggage that have hurt us for many years.  Remember your childhood?  That innocent child that walked around without a care in the world.  The child that played, danced, sang and many other things that we find so hard to do now.  The fears keep us from living.  Its time we transcend these fears , its time NOW to reclaim all that we ARE. 

 We have the power within to transcend all we need to – take charge of your life, take charge of your creative power, take charge of the ability you KNOW you have and watch every cell in your body work together with you to achieve this.  Your body is MIRACULOUS – allow the miracles to transform you.